Functional Insanity

10 things about my cat:


1. His name is Voldemort. Yes, he is as evil.
2. He is currently banned from entering the house as he pooped on a very expensive and posh looking carpet yesterday.
3. He has really mean, piercing, yellow eyes which translate to ‘Get The Hell Outta My Way’
4. He thinks he is human and prefer the queen sized bed, complete with air-conned room.
5. He loves only one person in the house and that’s my sister, Mynn. He’ll only sit on her tummy and if you graciously offer yours, he’ll look at you with a look on his face that says "Whaat? Your tummy???". This one look can make you feel like the loneliest person for one hour.
6. I once brought him to a pet store for a complete bath and groom which cost RM80. He thanked my by getting in his cage and deliberately gave me his buttocks to look at.
7. When we bathe him at home, he’ll moan like people are pouring hot water on him and sheathe his claws until we can hang him on the gate just by using those claws.
8. He’ll demand upper level toilet water in the gayung and pee on the floor mat in front of the toilet.
9. When a stray cat comes into the house and  meows and him, he’ll look at the cat and then look at me which translate to: "Why bring in this dirty creature?"
10. He likes to sleep under a pile of clothes with his eyes shut so tightly and his tail wrapped around him so delicately that you’ll want to shout "Morty!" so that he’ll wake up. But he’ll wake up with such a jump until you feel extremely guilty for snatching him away from his fishy dreams.

Oof, additional info:

When he’s really pissed off, he’ll enter his cage, pull his cage-door with his paw and sit in there like a so-called prisoner. He’ll also stare at you like it is completely your fault he is trapped in his little cage.